My Road to Atheism

Browsing my diary when I was in Grade 4, my journal entries during Sundays were always filled with comments like, "I hate going to mass!" "Why do we have to go to mass? Last year's wasn't different from this year's anyway" and "Mass is so boring zzz" (Yes, there were really doodles of the zzz).

Such great yet simple doubts and insights of my childhood were pushed away by the strong influence of my Catholic school and upbringing. My Christian Doctrine teachers would say that doubting faith and getting bored or distracted during mass were the devil's way of luring us not to listen to the word of the Lord. I remember my mom always telling me, "We just sacrifice one hour a week to glorify God. He gave us everything. Don't be selfish."

Looking back, if I just knew about the insane and morbid history of Christianity or the scientific data and theories on evolution and the origins of the Universe, my eleven-year old self would probably have been an atheist right then and there.

It's funny how I only came to terms with my atheism ten years later.

I don't deny drinking the Kool-Aid. I was a believer once. Of God and Christianity. I nagged my friends to come to mass with me and family. I prayed the novena. I confessed my sins. It's hilarious how a vast number of religious people treat atheists as if we don't get it. Trust us, we do. That's why we've stopped believing.

My boyfriend and I were watching the first episode of Curiosity by the Discovery Channel last September 20, 2011. Stephen Hawking explained the origins of the universe in such a magnificently rational way. To have reason explain how the universe came to be without necessarily a god is so logical and profound.

I'm currently reading Richard Dawkin's The Greatest Show On Earth and I've watched other documentaries and shows featuring Christopher Hitchens, Bill Maher and Sam Harris to name a few. I owe it to them for helping me discover full critical thinking. I also learned that morality existed way before religion did which was fascinating.

Perfectly stated by Richard Dawkins, “We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.”

I did not create this blog to offend, at least not intentionally. I still believe that the different religious texts have historical value and a handful of principles worth living by.

I fully accept that science has its limits. I admit that I don't know everything. But I want to share what I do know and what I am discovering everyday.

I want to share my one epic lifetime walking this Earth and witnessing the infinite majesty of the universe.

I want to share what it feels like to be an atheist.  How I've never felt more enlightened and liberated in my entire life. How deeply humbling it is to find out and somehow grasp the magnanimity of the universe, the laws of nature and how we came to be.

Contrary to popular belief, science and atheism are breathtakingly awesome.